


Valentine's Day Date from Hell

by m0risuke



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blind Date, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 17:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6018118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m0risuke/pseuds/m0risuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo set's up Yaku on a Valentine's Day date with the biggest asshole volleyball player he can find, Oikawa Tooru. </p><p>Mature for sexual innuendos, cursing, some violence from a small libero, etc. Mostly fluffy with some inappropriate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Day Date from Hell

**Author's Note:**

> A late Valentine's Day levyaku fic. I was too lazy to finish it in time to post it early... ._. Sorry if this sucks. First time writing for Haikyuu.

 

 

 

Yaku should have known better than to trust Kuroo to set him up on a date, but with the other team members saying it would be fine he decided to go on blind faith that this one time Kuroo wouldn't screw job him. [ And it had been a long time since he had a date on Valentine's Day... or regular date... or even sex... god he missed it all... ]

He had never been more wrong in all his life. And he was fairly sure when this date was over he was going home to carefully plot Kuroo's painful demise.

It was hard to say what Kuroo was thinking when he decided to set up this prank date, only that Yaku was 1000% sure that Kuroo went out of his way to find the most annoying, asinine volleyball player he could. In fact he went out of their prefecture in search of such a guy. He had heard about him through the guys at Karasuno, but hadn't met him until now. When Yaku walked up to the meeting spot and looked for the guy with a light blue sweater he saw him and knew that guy was an asshole. Every single thing about him screamed _"I'm a douche bag! I'm trash. Look at me!~"_ That was just the kind of guy Oikawa Tooru is.

Oikawa had planned out the date, which surprised Yaku. Kuroo had said that they would meet and decided what to do. Then again Yaku was starting to think everything Kuroo said was a lie, so why start questioning it now? He started following Oikawa, because he wouldn't even tell Yaku where they were going or what they'd be doing. He was a bit surprised when they walked in a sports center and headed for a reserved volleyball court. What didn't surprise him was that Kuroo was there, along with two guys he didn't know in Aobajosai uniforms. The set up was becoming clearer and clearer to Yaku. Though he didn't expect Lev to be in on it. Lev was sitting next to Kuroo smiling and waving screaming out "Happy Valentine's Day Yaku-san!!!!" But maybe he was just a simpleton and brought along for the ride by Kuroo.

As they broke off into groups to play, Yaku grabbed Kuroo by the arm and pulled him to the side. "I am plotting against you right now, you piece of shit."

"Ahahaha! I'd expect no less from you Yaku~"

They spent the next two hours playing. To make matters worse Oikawa decided to partner up with his ace Iwaizumi and teammate who's real name he forgot (though he remembered Hinata called him Turnip head), so despite is being on a date he was stuck playing _against_ his date. Yaku swore Oikawa was trying his damnedest to knock him out with that crazy powerful jump serve of his when he wasn't deliberately serving them too high so he could make remarks like "Oh that's too bad Yaku-chan! If only you were just a bit taller you could have got that."

Yaku wasn't sure by the end of the match who's ass he wanted to kick more; Kuroo's or Oikawa's. Valentine's Day had always been a shit holiday for Yaku [ he was unlucky and always seemed to be single when Holidays rolled around ], but this was especially shitty. This was not the working up a sweat and getting pounded by balls he was hoping for. He needed a shower and food. Now.

The shower went just as horrible as the game. Oikawa kept going on about Yaku's height and when he said "It's nice to know you're the smallest one in Nekoma in _every way_ , Yaku-chan." Yaku's patience worse out but when he tried to run towards him, fully intent of kicking Oikawa's ass, Oikawa ducked and Yaku slipped and fell face first into Lev's groin. It was embarrsing and irritating in all ways. He never wanted to be that up close and personal to Lev [ at least in this kind of situation ], or find out that Lev was bigger than him. And the fact that was the only dick he'd be getting today was not a happy thought. Well at least it was a big dick... a really big dick... He should not be having these thoughts about Lev. It was Lev's fault though for getting erect like that... Stupid giant.

After hitting the shower they headed out to eat. For some reason Kuroo decided to tag along for lunch, along with Iwaizami. But the turnip head decided to take off after the game. And Lev said he had to hurry to go to his new job. Which was weird, because _when did Lev get a job_? They stopped in front of a cafe that recently opened and Yaku knew he was going to murder someone very soon because it was a vegan salad cafe.

" ** _WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. THIS?!?_** " 

The foods really good here, it's my favorite place." Oikawa said making stupid girlish hand motions.

God, Yaku was going to shank him right here and now.

" _Meat, I NEED. **MEAT!**_ " Yaku hissed out.

"Now now, let's just try the place out." Kuroo said as he pushed Yaku towards the door.

They walked in and seated themselves, and Oikawa ran to one side of the booth and patted the seat. "Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan sit by me!~"

"I'd rather die shittykawa."

"Don't be so hostle Iwa-chan, or I won't give you your Valentine's Day dessert~~."

 ** _ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, MOTHERFUCKER?_ ** Yaku almost shouted. His date was clearly flirting with another guy, and was going to fuck him later. He was starting to think his revenge should be getting Kenma a large dragon dildo and strap on harness so Kuroo's ass would get wrecked. But it didn't seem painful enough. So he'd keep plotting in the meanwhile.

A large waiter came over and towered over Yaku while he read the menu. The waiter kept hunching over until he was inches from Yaku's face. There was only one behemoth he knew who enjoyed invading his personal space like this.

"So this is where you are working Lev?" he said without looking up.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME YAKU-SAN?"

"Keep your voice down idiot, you work here. I knew it was you because you're the only annoying enough to do that." "

Yaku-san..."

He could tell that Lev was sniveling about it, so he added. "It's ok. Just try not to do it so much."

"Ok, Yaku-san."

Lev just stood there for awhile, staring in an idiotic manor at him that he finally had to say something.

"Aren't you supposed to ask us our orders now."

"Oh yes... Welcome to Vegan Beanery. And Happy Valentine's Day! Today's special is a couples plate salad and dessert for 1200 yen."

"Is there any meat anywhere Lev?" Yaku asked tersely.

"Eh?" "

"Meat. Chicken. Turkey. Beef. MEAT, LEV. **MEAT!** "

"I would have thought you got your fill of meat when you were on your knees in the shower Yaku-chan." Oikawa sang out a little too loud, which got Kuroo to snicker. Lev just blushed and fidgeted. Even Yaku started to flush a bit. So in all his anger he kicked Kuroo which made him have a knee jerk reaction and kick Oikawa. _Karma prevailed_.

"No, we don't Yaku-san."

"Come on you could use some more vegetables in your diet. Yaku." Kuroo chided.

"Yes, you won't grow without them." Oikawa added.

"I will end all of you." Yaku hissed from behind his menu.

Looking at the prices they decided that they had to go with the special. But when Lev clumsily [He nearly dropped it five times, and Yaku nearly had a heart attack from worrying about the stupid giant] brought two large heart plates filled with salad Yaku and Iwaizumi regretted their choices.

"Like hell I'm eating off a heart shaped plate with this loser." Yaku and Iwaizumi shouted in unison. Several customers turned around and all of them looked away. Lev had to go into to the back and get two small plates for Yaku and Iwaizumi because they were threatening to fight Kuroo and Oikawa. They quieted down long enough to eat the salads. But when the vegan chocolate heart shaped cakes came, Oikawa had to stir the pot.

"Say Ahhhhhhh~ Iwa-chan" Oikawa was holding up his fork that he had used to take a chunk of the cake they were supposed to share and dangling the bite in front of Iwaizumi's lips.

"Like hell I'll take a-" Before he could finish the sentence Oikawa shoved the morsel in his mouth and clamped his lips over Iwaizumi's mouths. A lot of muffle sounds came from both of them, most of them sounded like curse word and threats. Oikawa wrapped his hands around Iwaizumi head and got a good death grip on his head. It wasn't even a sexy kiss, more of a power struggle between the two. Iwaizumi had no choice but to swallow, and Oikawa released him from the hold.

"YEAH!~ I won Iwa-chan." Oikawa had his fingers up in a peace sign that he pushed in Yaku's face. He was too busy to notice that Iwaizumi grabbed the remaining cake and smashed it into Oikawa's face.

"You can go to hell trashykawa, you dumbass"

And with that Iwaizumi stormed out of the restaurant. Oikawa got up and ran after him, and all Yaku heard were some loud screams off in the distance. Kuroo got up to check on it after around fifteen minutes texted Yaku.

Got to take Oikawa to the hospital. Talk to you later.

A few seconds later he added on.

Maybe you'll get a better Valentine's Date if you look in the right places. Try looking up.

What the hell did he mean look up? Out of sheer curiosity Yaku looked up to see Lev standing over his shoulder quietly. He let out a small scream, and Lev fell backwards. Yaku scooted out of the booth and ran to his side.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes... Why did you scream?" Lev said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"If you had a titan hovering behind you and you looked up, wouldn't you scream?"

"Yaku-san, I'm not a titan. You're just shor- GUH"

Yaku punched Lev in the gut hard, and the giant toppled over on the floor laying there whining. "Shut up behemoth."

"Yaku-san..."

"What?"

"Do you have enough money to pay the whole bill now that they left you?"

"Shit..."

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Yaku did not have enough to pay. It ended with an argument with the owner, and Lev having to give Yaku the few tips he had made in the hour he had been there that day. The owner also fired Lev on the spot. Partially because of the scene they had made, but mostly because Lev kept breaking things and messing up orders. Yaku thought it was a shame because Lev looked good in the dandy style clothes the place had. That day he had been wearing black mid calf capri's, black wingtips, a tight white button down and black vest, and a skinny black tie. The tight uniform accentuated the muscle Lev had started gaining from training. Not that Yaku had been checking him out often...

They decided to walk to the park and sit for awhile, because Lev didn't want to be alone or go home. Yaku felt guilt and spoiler him too much so he went along with it.

"I'm sorry I got you fired. I'll pay you back later."

"It's ok, Yaku-san."

There was a long pause between them as they looked out at all the couples having picnics, holding hands, making out. It sucked.

"I knew I shouldn't have come out today. That date sucked."

"Yeah it did."

Yaku playfully nudged at his leg in a gentle kick. "You don't get to say that Behemoth. Besides you don't even date."

Lev blushed at him bringing this up. "Well I'm waiting for someone to notice that I like him."

"You like someone?" Yaku slumped down in a the bench and tilted his head up, closing his eyes. He was sick of seeing the happy couples.

"Yes. Do you?..."

"I'm bad with that kind of stuff. I'll sort of like someone but I don't follow through because I can't figure out if they like. Why don't you just tell the person?"

"They are my senpai, so it's hard. And sometimes I think they like me, but I mostly think they hate me."

"Well, you'll never know unless you tell them."

"I was going to. I was going to ask them out today, That's why I got the job. To raise enough money to take them out to this fancy restaurant that was having couple steak dinners."

" _Steak sounds so nice_." Yaku said softly not to interrupt him.

"But I didn't make much because I broke things and had to pay for it, then the last of my money..."

"Sorry I took your date money. I've got some money I've been saving at home, we can go there and I can pay you back. I can even loan you some so you can take your dream date out. One of us should have a good Valentines Day date."

"Really? Ok wait here, I'm going to go get something."

Lev ran off towards a food cart and came running back a few minutes later with a sack. Yaku could smell the burgers and fries. His mouth was salivating.

"You got me burgers? But you probably spent the last of your money? Will you have enough to take this guy out now?"

"It's no problem. Yaku-san just said he'd pay for dinner for us. We can go back to your place and then go to dinner together."

"Together?"

"Yes, you're going to be my Valentine's Day date!"

Lev took out a small box of chocolates and nervously handed them to Yaku. Yaku was blushing and as he tried to grab for a burger out of the sack he accidentally punched Lev in the chest. He couldn't believe he liked him like that. But it sort of answered a lot of lingering questions he had about Lev [ and if Yaku was honest, about his own feelings for Lev ].

"Just so you know, I don't hate you..."

"Do you like me?"

"I'm not saying... yet."

Lev pouted at him and tried making puppy eyes... which is odd when you naturally have cat like eyes.

"Fine we can go to dinner. What else would you want to do?"

"We'll see where the night takes us."

There was a purr in Lev's voice as he dropped his arm over Yaku's shoulder, and his lanky arm reached down to quickly stroke Yaku's butt.

"Fine, but I won't go easy on you titan."

 

 

 


End file.
